As I sit on the airplane, coming home from a weekend in Orlando Florida, I’m sipping hot tea and tapping along on my keyboard in hopes to settle my mind and reflect on the weekend I was just apart of. The tea is in hopes to soothe my throat after a long day of teaching, and I’m chuckling about how I lose my voice at the exact same point at every seminar I teach; like clockwork, it knows its limit. I have taken a hiatus from posting blogs online, for quite a while now. Where is that free-bird that posted a new blog every time she had an idea or a thought pop into her head anyways… where did she go?
In the last few years I have experienced a lot of growth in my life both as a person and an athlete. As I dove into some personal studies of my own, and was getting mentored by a friend in a bible study, I started realizing the revelations were so deep, I was afraid to share them. What was flashing through my brain was so constantly deep that I didn’t know if I could continue to write online about the things I was learning. It was almost like I needed to write “notes,” instead of complete thoughts, because I couldn’t quite string them together enough to make sense, and say what I wanted to say. My brain was thinking faster than I could translate, and so I adjusted by starting to take notes on paper. This lead to journaling, and if you follow my “story” at all, you know that I share what I’m learning, but usually only in short phrases or verses that I was studying, or things I learned from pastors or close friends whom I look up to.
So this is the beginning, this is me coming back to blogging and doing my best to narrate the transition of thinking I’ve experienced. This is me being real, honest, and true to what life has been showing me.
As I sit here, still nursing my tea, I am feeling a wave of understanding. I can certainly marvel at what God has done, and how he certainly put people in my life at the exact moment I needed them – even when I thought I was better on my own. I also wonder why he waited so long to put others in my life, even though I was asking for them so much earlier. But one thing is certain, and that’s that he has a plan, and he is in control of that plan, I am not. The plan is for me to experience life and be respectfully honest about the highs, the lows, and the in-betweens. The plan is what brought me here today, and the same plan that brought you to be reading this, and possibly intrigued to learn more. I thank you for ending up here, and being “along for the ride,” even when the ride gets bumpy and lacks inspiration but is instead vulnerable and real. True life isn’t the highlight reel of your best outfits and most adoring accomplishments. Real life is the content that doesn’t even qualify as B-roll or even C-roll for that matter, but when seen in the right light it can be just as beautiful as the ideal we were wishing for in the first place.
The networking of the fitness world, the “glory of the Games,” and the slow turn of a young passionate athlete to a mature faithful adult is fogging my mind as I write to you guys. Ultimately, I’m thankful. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, even when they were really hard ones that I didn’t know if I’d ever see the other side of. I’m still going to continue journaling, so stay tuned. Those notes are actually mementos and recordings of my spiritual growth and two-sided conversations with God… and I now know the story I’m writing just wouldn’t be complete without it.